Have you guys ever wondered how well do you know about me? Well, I guess everyone has a different thought about me. But i really want to explain or to claim something clearly here.
First of all, i told u guys that i finished almost the Form 4 Chemistry in 1 day. Actually, some of the topic like Electrochemistry i have read it before, and i skipped. Thats why i seems to be faster than others. Then, i dont read every details mentioned in the book. What i do is to understand the theory and try to read every experiment and memorize all the definitions just right away the day before the paper was held. Hence i think i save a lot of time. I do a lot of practice and model papers because i think that can helps a lot and every teacher asked me to do so.
Second, i managed to finished 2 - 3 chapters of Sejarah in a day. Everyone heard of it look in amazement at me. But you do really think i can memorize all of them? Frankly speaking, NO! I DONT! and if i get an A in sejarah, that must be too lucky for me to read the right thing for the right question.
After all, i was kinda hurt when everyone talking to me like that, dont think that i'm that great. I'm not. Not at all.
Dont say that i'm born with this quick reading skill, dont say that i'm born with that calculating skill. Can you imagine how i do or behave when i was a kid?
I can barely remember that i was at the last placing of the class when i was 5, the first year of Kindergarden. Then, my mum sent me to tuition center when i was 6 on my request! i cant imagine how i would asked my mum to do so. Whatever it was, it doesn't matter. Lucky that my mum did send me to tuition center. I memorize, I read, I prepare for my primary Standard 1 when i was 6. When every little kid was having afternoon nap, i was memorizing the table for the multiplication. That makes me feel less burden when i got into primary school.
I read books on my own, i can remember how much i love to read. When the exam is coming, i forced myself to memorize the synonyms and everything. I placed at top 3 when i was Standard 1 and 2. But something bad happened, a little friend of mine improved a lot in his exam. His father rewarded him a watch, he showed me. I was small, he said that my parents dont love me and thats why they dont buy me things even i was better than him. He dont know that he broke my heart, tear it off into pieces. After that, i forced myself doing things with every best of mine. I can even be self-abused if i dont do things right. I thought i wasnt good enough to be loved and i wanted to improve more and more. I wanted to make them proud of me as if like every relatives of mine proud of their children. I wanted so much for their love. Until i fell down that night, my brother carried me and yelled at my neighbours. My mum cried over and over again, and thats how i feel their love. Thats how i know that love is something invisible that it couldnt gain my attention at all. I dont ask for money, i dont ask for presents from them. Money dont buy love. I understand. I can tell you that i have never asked a cent from my parents. They gave me on their own will. I saved, I dont asked for things. But i know if i asked, they will make sure that i have it. I know how lucky am i to be considerable for them. I understand how lucky am i to get such a parent that treat me a different way than others do.
You couldnt imagine how a hard life i have been through. You wouldnt have know if i never speak of it. What you can see is i'm was so lucky to be born with those ability. There are so many gifted people, but i'm not one of them. I know it very well and i wished all of u were. Dont judge me by how i looked. Dont think one was too lucky to succeed, u dint know how much they have worked. U just dont see how much effort they had give. You dont know how i have to worked hard in earlier days so that it will be a lesser job today. I know i'm not the one who went through the hardest life of all, I have a house, I have my parents my brother. I have eyes to see how beautiful the world is. I am neither retarded nor physical disable. Life treats me good, i know it.
Things dont fall from sky and dropped into your hands so coincide. If you dont worked hard, success wouldnt have knock your door. Every succeed man is the ordinary people who work harder than others. They were just you, still human. Dont think that succeed was given by God to them, God only help those who help themselves.
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