Forgive me

Forgive me please, I know I'll gone crazy once in a while. I know I'll just laugh with no reason which irritate you guys so much. I know I hardly control my temper. I'm so sorry for being a emotional person. But being emotional is really my fault?

I have no idea about that. I just realize that once in a while, I wished to be the real me! But, sometimes I'm not wishing, is just came out by itself, I mean the real me. It replace me to be another person.

Sorry because I know all these things are making you confuse. But erm, this is the thought I came up with today. Lets see what had happened today.

LAK tuition class.
Jia Cheng : Shu Yi, since when you change your style, i mean the way you hold your pen!
Shu Yi : *laugh quietly, dint get to answer him*

He is right, since when i changed my holding pen's style. I dont remember when is it, things change so deeply, thoroughly without my knowing. But all I know is once in a while, I still write in a " thumb-up" way. and thats the REAL ME!!

after the tuition class, I walk to Boon Hwa, look for exercise book, then walked to Minang to buy my rubber band.
It was a sunny day, sun still shine so bright and I couldnt look up into the sky.
So, I keep my head down, staring on the road i'm walking. I wonder why the road shines too. Have you guys ever notice it? Even though the road is black color, but when the sun shines on it, you'll see it reflect some light, white light. feels like a diamond.

Then, I remember when I was small, I saw the road shine in the way like a diamond. I thought diamond or crystal was dig out from the road. So, I spend so much time on digging on the road outside my house. Erm. a small digging, no one ever notice me.

One day, my mum saw what I'm doing and she asked about it. I told her I'm digging diamonds! She laughed. I anyhow manage to dig out one or two small piece of stone, which looks like diamond, or glass. I dont know what it is, I thought that was a diamond.

So suddenly, i wished to draw back, and start digging the road again. I still wonder is this crystal? or diamond? The real me is backed. But just for a moment. It was short. I anyhow tried to stay her in, but I couldn't.

No one knows which of them is the real one. So do I. Pardon me if I'm lost, Forgive me if you found that I've totally changed. Because i got no way to keep the real me with me.