Heyyy =)
Sorry guys for not updating this blog for such a long long time. I promise I will not do this anymore.
Going back to the title ' Life after SPM '. I'm having fun so far, and at least I did something useful or maybe I should say is meaningful? Blah.. Don't bother about it.
I've finished the last paper on 14th Dec 2010. Then, I've start my MapleSEA again. Hey, if you play in Sg - Aquila server, feel free to pm me -- SynPlexiS. After that, I went to NAPEI Education Fair last weekend with Yap Xin. Well, is a great experience for me, as I never take bus and KTM with my friend before. I've gather quite some information from the fair, been flipping through them these few days.
The next day after the education fair, I've went on a trip with my classmate to Penang, Ipoh, Cameron and Sunway, which last for 4 days 4 nights. Frankly speaking, I do feel like wanna get into quarrel with somebody, well, not to mention who and why, guess everyone knows about it. AND, I don't give a damn, I don't care if you read this post, what I wanted to say is " Thank GOD! I don't have to see you anymore in the rest of my life! "
Heh! No more tantrum right now. My dad fetched my to Nilai UC and INTI UC today. I apply Nilai UC scholarship, perhaps will be call very soon for the interview, I'm more likely to be excited than nervous. Imao~~ I'm a weirdo!
Guess I'll be keep an eye on those scholarship and courses offered by different college and of course their fee structure. I'm not sure if I will do any post relevant to scholarship or business course in the future, but you can text me anytime if you have any inquiries.
Thats all for now.
*YAWN*
I'm sleepy, gotta go sleep right now, to get over those dark eye circles =P
Oh ya, I'm going to register for the driving lesson, whoever wish to attend the course with me & jin yi, text me. Thanks in advanced.
Sunday, December 26, 2010
Saturday, October 16, 2010
Forgive me
Forgive me please, I know I'll gone crazy once in a while. I know I'll just laugh with no reason which irritate you guys so much. I know I hardly control my temper. I'm so sorry for being a emotional person. But being emotional is really my fault?
I have no idea about that. I just realize that once in a while, I wished to be the real me! But, sometimes I'm not wishing, is just came out by itself, I mean the real me. It replace me to be another person.
Sorry because I know all these things are making you confuse. But erm, this is the thought I came up with today. Lets see what had happened today.
LAK tuition class.
Jia Cheng : Shu Yi, since when you change your style, i mean the way you hold your pen!
Shu Yi : *laugh quietly, dint get to answer him*
He is right, since when i changed my holding pen's style. I dont remember when is it, things change so deeply, thoroughly without my knowing. But all I know is once in a while, I still write in a " thumb-up" way. and thats the REAL ME!!
after the tuition class, I walk to Boon Hwa, look for exercise book, then walked to Minang to buy my rubber band.
It was a sunny day, sun still shine so bright and I couldnt look up into the sky.
So, I keep my head down, staring on the road i'm walking. I wonder why the road shines too. Have you guys ever notice it? Even though the road is black color, but when the sun shines on it, you'll see it reflect some light, white light. feels like a diamond.
Then, I remember when I was small, I saw the road shine in the way like a diamond. I thought diamond or crystal was dig out from the road. So, I spend so much time on digging on the road outside my house. Erm. a small digging, no one ever notice me.
One day, my mum saw what I'm doing and she asked about it. I told her I'm digging diamonds! She laughed. I anyhow manage to dig out one or two small piece of stone, which looks like diamond, or glass. I dont know what it is, I thought that was a diamond.
So suddenly, i wished to draw back, and start digging the road again. I still wonder is this crystal? or diamond? The real me is backed. But just for a moment. It was short. I anyhow tried to stay her in, but I couldn't.
No one knows which of them is the real one. So do I. Pardon me if I'm lost, Forgive me if you found that I've totally changed. Because i got no way to keep the real me with me.
I have no idea about that. I just realize that once in a while, I wished to be the real me! But, sometimes I'm not wishing, is just came out by itself, I mean the real me. It replace me to be another person.
Sorry because I know all these things are making you confuse. But erm, this is the thought I came up with today. Lets see what had happened today.
LAK tuition class.
Jia Cheng : Shu Yi, since when you change your style, i mean the way you hold your pen!
Shu Yi : *laugh quietly, dint get to answer him*
He is right, since when i changed my holding pen's style. I dont remember when is it, things change so deeply, thoroughly without my knowing. But all I know is once in a while, I still write in a " thumb-up" way. and thats the REAL ME!!
after the tuition class, I walk to Boon Hwa, look for exercise book, then walked to Minang to buy my rubber band.
It was a sunny day, sun still shine so bright and I couldnt look up into the sky.
So, I keep my head down, staring on the road i'm walking. I wonder why the road shines too. Have you guys ever notice it? Even though the road is black color, but when the sun shines on it, you'll see it reflect some light, white light. feels like a diamond.
Then, I remember when I was small, I saw the road shine in the way like a diamond. I thought diamond or crystal was dig out from the road. So, I spend so much time on digging on the road outside my house. Erm. a small digging, no one ever notice me.
One day, my mum saw what I'm doing and she asked about it. I told her I'm digging diamonds! She laughed. I anyhow manage to dig out one or two small piece of stone, which looks like diamond, or glass. I dont know what it is, I thought that was a diamond.
So suddenly, i wished to draw back, and start digging the road again. I still wonder is this crystal? or diamond? The real me is backed. But just for a moment. It was short. I anyhow tried to stay her in, but I couldn't.
No one knows which of them is the real one. So do I. Pardon me if I'm lost, Forgive me if you found that I've totally changed. Because i got no way to keep the real me with me.
Thursday, October 7, 2010
Is great not to grow up, but is time to face realities
A moment ago, I saw the picture of Connie, Sara and Nancy they took during their first dance in secondary school, when we were all in Form 1. It doesn't surprise me at all, the thing that touch my heart was the comment.
- Look how big is that smile.
- Yea. million dollars smile.
- Yea. Is great not to grow up.
Yes, I'm totally agree with these guys.
We usually have that smiley face all the time when we were small. If it is not a smile, at least a tear, and is better than nothing.
When we grow up, problems grow up.
No matter what we feed it, it still seems to grow.
I never thought that time passes this fast.
I never thought that everyone have changed a lot, or maybe we shall say it is growth?
I'm a big big girl, but no longer in a small small world.
And so do you, i mean everyone who read this.
We are no longer kids, we started to carry on our life on our own, taking our own responsibility, facing our own problem, solve things alone when we have to.
I know we are no more the little one, cry when there is no solution, say hate you when I mean it, say "rocket" when I dont wanna be friend with you, tell you every secret I have.
What I mean is everyone should live their life on their own, decide the path they want, take their risk for any major decision and also be responsible for what they have done.
Of course, what im facing now is masquerades. I bet you have realize that too. I'm not surprise of that, it doesn't matter what brings that on you, but perhaps you are just trying to protect yourself, not to deceive others.
We gossips more than sharing problem. Why is that? I dont know.
Everyone has his or her own problem, maybe is more than you can imagine.
No one can tell you what to do, you are the only one who can tell yourself what to do. No one is obliged to solve every problem in your life, perhaps you know about this, perhaps you appreciate what we have done for you.
P.S : I'm not talking to a specific person. Dont get offended. Thanks.
- Look how big is that smile.
- Yea. million dollars smile.
- Yea. Is great not to grow up.
Yes, I'm totally agree with these guys.
We usually have that smiley face all the time when we were small. If it is not a smile, at least a tear, and is better than nothing.
When we grow up, problems grow up.
No matter what we feed it, it still seems to grow.
I never thought that time passes this fast.
I never thought that everyone have changed a lot, or maybe we shall say it is growth?
I'm a big big girl, but no longer in a small small world.
And so do you, i mean everyone who read this.
We are no longer kids, we started to carry on our life on our own, taking our own responsibility, facing our own problem, solve things alone when we have to.
I know we are no more the little one, cry when there is no solution, say hate you when I mean it, say "rocket" when I dont wanna be friend with you, tell you every secret I have.
What I mean is everyone should live their life on their own, decide the path they want, take their risk for any major decision and also be responsible for what they have done.
Of course, what im facing now is masquerades. I bet you have realize that too. I'm not surprise of that, it doesn't matter what brings that on you, but perhaps you are just trying to protect yourself, not to deceive others.
We gossips more than sharing problem. Why is that? I dont know.
Everyone has his or her own problem, maybe is more than you can imagine.
No one can tell you what to do, you are the only one who can tell yourself what to do. No one is obliged to solve every problem in your life, perhaps you know about this, perhaps you appreciate what we have done for you.
P.S : I'm not talking to a specific person. Dont get offended. Thanks.
Sunday, October 3, 2010
I miss you, but not that much anymore.
Is been 2 years since you left us. I wonder how is life after death? Peaceful? Do you really meet God? or even stay with God? I havent mourn for u for a long time, hmmn.. almost a year? Sorry that I dont remember that much. It seems that I've started let things go away as time passes. Will you blame me? I know you dont.
I went to hospital yesterday. I did a endoscope and ultrasound, diagnose with nothing. I'm sure you will be glad to hear this, I'm fine. Definitely healthy, but erm. just obese. I promise I will start putting off this 'loads'. Hehe. =)
I saw carp fish in the pool, and then only I think of you. Kinda dissapointed huh? I'm sure you are. It is because the place we placed you has a lot of carp fish, windy, and erm nice building structure, and I'm loving it. I'm sure you will too.
Frankly, I dont remember your faces at those early age. All I remember is how your silly smiley face, you shake your head when all of us asked you to stop but you insist this is what doctor asked you to do. But, it is actually a No-No. I remember you used to bring me to the temple, feed me with those dumpling, one of my favourite food, and yes, it is now too. I remember you are the only one who taught me to tie up my shoelace patiently, you did it instead of my mum. I remember it was so kind of you that you never blame me for anything i've done wrong. You make mooncakes, dumplings, cakes, muruku. You sew shirts. My mum too. Yet, I havent learn anything of this from you or her either.
Life is fragile. I wanted to say this long ago. The scene was so real, unforgettable and unbearable pain. It was still like yesterday, like you havent leave me for years, weeks and days. I very seldom think of you. But when I thought of, everything about you seems to flashback, I recall every moment with you. I couldnt ignore the hard feeling in my heart. It was me to ignore your request, I didnt want to pick up that stinky thing, and you have to do it all on your own. But it was then you've got stroke. It was too late for me to blame myself now. No point for crying over the spilt milk. Yet, you praised me. You told others that I quickly got others to offer you help when you couldn't stand. But I know it deeply that you were just too kind to say that, to protect me against the sins that i've done.
Time passes so quickly. He is not that strong anymore. But his temper never changed. He sleep in my room everytime he stay here. You couldn't imagine how many times he will wake up at the night to go toilet. Or maybe you knew it? I know he is lonely at KL, he dint want to stay there. No companions. Everyone stop him from doing this and doing that. Maybe you should talk to him oftenly in his dream. Tell him how his attitude will affect the others. Tell him how to stay along with them. I always try my best to talk to him when he is here, but you know? things got out of my hand, I dont have any topic to talk. Tell me what to do? I always lose my temper when I'm against him, when he kept on asking the same question. Teach me how to control my temper. Verbal wound would be as bad as physical one, or maybe worse. I really want to appreciate him, but sometimes I just turned things upside down.
I still miss you now. just not that much anymore. I dont want to forget you. I'll save a place in my heart for you. It is secured, locked and the password is with you now. Tell me if I've change bad, adversely affect my life. Tell me if I'm no longer the little girl you've know. I really do miss you. Tell me to take care of myself, and for the others too.
I went to hospital yesterday. I did a endoscope and ultrasound, diagnose with nothing. I'm sure you will be glad to hear this, I'm fine. Definitely healthy, but erm. just obese. I promise I will start putting off this 'loads'. Hehe. =)
I saw carp fish in the pool, and then only I think of you. Kinda dissapointed huh? I'm sure you are. It is because the place we placed you has a lot of carp fish, windy, and erm nice building structure, and I'm loving it. I'm sure you will too.
Frankly, I dont remember your faces at those early age. All I remember is how your silly smiley face, you shake your head when all of us asked you to stop but you insist this is what doctor asked you to do. But, it is actually a No-No. I remember you used to bring me to the temple, feed me with those dumpling, one of my favourite food, and yes, it is now too. I remember you are the only one who taught me to tie up my shoelace patiently, you did it instead of my mum. I remember it was so kind of you that you never blame me for anything i've done wrong. You make mooncakes, dumplings, cakes, muruku. You sew shirts. My mum too. Yet, I havent learn anything of this from you or her either.
Life is fragile. I wanted to say this long ago. The scene was so real, unforgettable and unbearable pain. It was still like yesterday, like you havent leave me for years, weeks and days. I very seldom think of you. But when I thought of, everything about you seems to flashback, I recall every moment with you. I couldnt ignore the hard feeling in my heart. It was me to ignore your request, I didnt want to pick up that stinky thing, and you have to do it all on your own. But it was then you've got stroke. It was too late for me to blame myself now. No point for crying over the spilt milk. Yet, you praised me. You told others that I quickly got others to offer you help when you couldn't stand. But I know it deeply that you were just too kind to say that, to protect me against the sins that i've done.
Time passes so quickly. He is not that strong anymore. But his temper never changed. He sleep in my room everytime he stay here. You couldn't imagine how many times he will wake up at the night to go toilet. Or maybe you knew it? I know he is lonely at KL, he dint want to stay there. No companions. Everyone stop him from doing this and doing that. Maybe you should talk to him oftenly in his dream. Tell him how his attitude will affect the others. Tell him how to stay along with them. I always try my best to talk to him when he is here, but you know? things got out of my hand, I dont have any topic to talk. Tell me what to do? I always lose my temper when I'm against him, when he kept on asking the same question. Teach me how to control my temper. Verbal wound would be as bad as physical one, or maybe worse. I really want to appreciate him, but sometimes I just turned things upside down.
I still miss you now. just not that much anymore. I dont want to forget you. I'll save a place in my heart for you. It is secured, locked and the password is with you now. Tell me if I've change bad, adversely affect my life. Tell me if I'm no longer the little girl you've know. I really do miss you. Tell me to take care of myself, and for the others too.
Friday, September 24, 2010
Let it go and gain something else
I think I should let it go when it is not anymore of mine.
If you grab something,
you hold your fist.
If you let go something,
you open your palm wide,
gain something else.
What if you are grabbing something similar to sand?
It'll drain away no matter how hard you are trying to keep it with you.
You have nothing, at the end.
I think is time for me to let go of it, keep my options open, grab the best ever that i can.
Girl, stop day dreaming if you know you never get it.
Find other way out.
When the door is close, you still have your windows open.
Put more effort, strike for the best, get more options.
Do not ever let circumstances left you no choice,it is the worst thing ever.
If you grab something,
you hold your fist.
If you let go something,
you open your palm wide,
gain something else.
What if you are grabbing something similar to sand?
It'll drain away no matter how hard you are trying to keep it with you.
You have nothing, at the end.
I think is time for me to let go of it, keep my options open, grab the best ever that i can.
Girl, stop day dreaming if you know you never get it.
Find other way out.
When the door is close, you still have your windows open.
Put more effort, strike for the best, get more options.
Do not ever let circumstances left you no choice,it is the worst thing ever.
Tuesday, September 14, 2010
Gathering with Billy
Billy reached KP two days ago, but i went to a wedding dinner, so i'm only be able to meet him yesterday. He is so friendly and talkative. He can mixed around with friends over here very well. I'm truly appreciate him to drive all his way long here just to meet us, Jeslyn, Mervin, and of course me!
Nothing much to talk about the gathering, we just brought him to walk around. I think we should have bring him to Sri Menanti, Terachi Culture Village and Ulu Bendul, that should be better.
But the most fun part is he drive us to the house at the top of Tmn Fatimah. I think they are still having open house, so they dint close the gate up. It was a new experience for us to 'break into' others' house. Mwahaha! =D
He encourage us to try on something new, so he went to the house and met the owner there, said this are our first visit, so we want to walk around. And the owner is good enough to let us walk around her garden. It was so exciting. ( I think i cant describe my feeling well )
He is a great friend to be, and all of us appreciate this friendship.
- Friends have no border of age, sex and distance. No matter how far are us, friendship will still remain if our hearts always stick together -
Nothing much to talk about the gathering, we just brought him to walk around. I think we should have bring him to Sri Menanti, Terachi Culture Village and Ulu Bendul, that should be better.
But the most fun part is he drive us to the house at the top of Tmn Fatimah. I think they are still having open house, so they dint close the gate up. It was a new experience for us to 'break into' others' house. Mwahaha! =D
He encourage us to try on something new, so he went to the house and met the owner there, said this are our first visit, so we want to walk around. And the owner is good enough to let us walk around her garden. It was so exciting. ( I think i cant describe my feeling well )
He is a great friend to be, and all of us appreciate this friendship.
- Friends have no border of age, sex and distance. No matter how far are us, friendship will still remain if our hearts always stick together -
Wedding dinner
I've just went for a wedding dinner at Sunday night. Every relative came here ( even from the New Zealand ). The wedding dinner is held at a small restaurant, known as Tashi Delek in Seremban 2. Guess what? Is a vegetarian wedding dinner. This is my first time went for a vegetarian wedding dinner. The food is actually ok, but I find it the atmosphere over there is better.
What am I more excited is to gather with my cousin. I havent seen her for a long time, I usually get to see her only once a year during Chinese New Year. But I dint met her this new year, so is considered once a year too. Duhh =(
But is kinda boring over there, I was arranged far away from my cousins. Why why why???
They should have put us together. I wasnt the worst, the worst is the man sit at my table. 9 of us at the table are relatives and we know each other, but he is the only friend from the couple.
Met a 'new' relative from New Zealand, he is friendly, speak loudly, laugh loudly. I love his smile, and he is definitely a 'friend' to be. He shared a lot of his life experience in New Zealand. He is 31 this year, but my father asked " is he over 20?"
Oh my God! my dad never said one so young before, not even me (>.<)
Anyway, is a great experience and gathering with all those relatives.
What am I more excited is to gather with my cousin. I havent seen her for a long time, I usually get to see her only once a year during Chinese New Year. But I dint met her this new year, so is considered once a year too. Duhh =(
But is kinda boring over there, I was arranged far away from my cousins. Why why why???
They should have put us together. I wasnt the worst, the worst is the man sit at my table. 9 of us at the table are relatives and we know each other, but he is the only friend from the couple.
Met a 'new' relative from New Zealand, he is friendly, speak loudly, laugh loudly. I love his smile, and he is definitely a 'friend' to be. He shared a lot of his life experience in New Zealand. He is 31 this year, but my father asked " is he over 20?"
Oh my God! my dad never said one so young before, not even me (>.<)
Anyway, is a great experience and gathering with all those relatives.
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